Dear husband,
I don't know if I've ever shared this little story with you but here it goes.
When I was around the age of 14 I was taught something in one of my church meetings that has stuck with me to this day. I remember one of my leaders specifically saying that we could pray for our future spouse- we should pray for their safety, their faith and the courage to stay morally clean.
Now I wouldn't pray for my future spouse EVERY night, but occasionally it would pop into my head and I would remember to work it in. So I prayed for you. I'd prayed that we would find each other, I'd pray for your safety, I'd pray for you to realize that I'm "the one". and the list goes on..
many years later, we we're in the same class. I didn't know who you we're but I was oddly drawn to you. But something was holding me back;I had just broken up with someone. Someone I was dating for a while. I was discourage and was done with dating. I didn't want to deal with any more heartbreaks or break ups. I had given up.
I was lonely and tired of dating. So one day I prayed, i prayed hard for me to meet that special someone. I prayed that you would walk into my life- I confessed I was done with dating and ready to meet the "one". The one who I would decided to marry, to start a family with and to love forever. And that's the day I decided I needed to step out of my comfort zone and talk to you. It wasn't much- simple sentences. But from then on I would see you every where and we would talk.
7 months later here we are! Engaged to be married in the Lords temple!
It wasn't an easy 7 months. There were a lot of up's and down's and uncertainties in our relationship- especially from my point of view. I had doubts- and I 'm sorry. I wasn't sure if you we're the one I've been praying for. I didn't know if I wanted to marry you- and sometimes I thought of breaking up with you. I just didn't get that confirmation that you we're Mr. Right. Sometimes I loved you and didn't want to leave your side, and other days you we're annoying, and smart-alecky. I couldn't stand it and I would cry. I would pray and pray and pray to Heavenly father to give me a sign or that "feeling" of knowing you we're the "one". He never gave me that sign or feeling and it discouraged me and questioned my love for you.
Till one day I realized that I had forgotten that I had prayed and asked for us to meet- not specifically you and I. But for my future husband and I. And He gave me you. I don't know why I have so much doubt. Perhaps it's because I lack faith in myself and sometimes in the Lord. Or perhaps love is desensitized to me. I expect chick flick love when in all reality it's not like that. It's simple and has much more meaning for those involved. There we're no fireworks, no thundering voice. Just this realization of that simple prayer.
I love you- sometimes I forget that prayer and question myself. But just know that I love you and can't wait for August.
Love wife
5/20/10
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